


Fire of Unknown Origin

by sam4587



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Crying Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Grieving, Grieving Dean Winchester, Heartbreak, M/M, Single Parent Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam4587/pseuds/sam4587
Summary: Dean tries so hard to get through his days, so hard. But with the hurt still this fresh, and two children to take care of on his own, it’s difficult.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 32





	Fire of Unknown Origin

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of the concept for this when [Fire of Unknown Origin by Blue Öyster Cult](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSKeo5AS5vM) came in my playlist, hence the title. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Disclaimer: The story is mine, CW Supernatural is not. Please do not repost.

“Come on guys, we’re going to be late for school! Hurry up!”

“We’re coming! Just one second!” The response comes immediately from upstairs. Dean sighs and shakes his head. As he waits for his children to _finally_ finish getting ready, he starts loading the dishwasher, so he won’t have to do that when he gets back from dropping them off. As he walks to the kitchen, his eyes drift over to the table, surrounded by four chairs. He shortly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He has to force himself to turn away and start loading the dirty plates from their breakfast in the dishwasher.

“Dad! We’re ready! Are you coming? We’re going to be late!” Claire’s voice reaches him from the hallway and he perks up. Wait a minute.

“Now you’re telling _me_ I need to hurry? I was ready fifteen minutes ago! What were you two doing there upstairs?” Jack looks at him with the most innocent look on his face. “Claire was helping me pack my backpack. I couldn’t find my green pen that I like, so she helped me search for it.”

Dean practically melts at the softness of his son and he smiles at him. “Okay. Did you find it, then?” Jack nods and gestures vaguely at his backpack, as if he’s inviting his dad to take a look for himself. Dean smiles again and looks over at Claire. When he notices they’re both ready to leave, he guides his children to the Impala and five minutes later, they are on the road, the two children in the backseat and the seat next to him in the front painfully empty. Claire’s voice gets Dean out of his thoughts.

“Dad? Dad! Are you okay?”

Dean startles and swirls the car back to the right side of the road. “Yes. I’m fine. We’re almost there.” He blinks his eyes in an attempt to get the control back over himself. Shit. If he continues like this, he’ll lose his whole family in a car accident.

As he pulls up in the parking lot of the elementary school Claire and Jack attend, he takes another deep breath. With a small grunt – he’s getting old, sue him – he gets out of the car and takes the backpacks out of the trunk. Jack’s smile widens when he notices his friends and after a quick hug and a “Have fun today!” from his dad, he runs of to start his day at school. Claire takes her time to get ready, though.

“Everything alright, sweety? Something wrong?” Dean asks, touching her shoulder in an asking gesture. Claire looks up at him, her blue eyes piercing into his. When he sees the hint of tears in them, he pulls her into a hug. “What’s the matter?”

With a sniffle, Claire pulls back a little to be able to talk. “I… I miss papa. I…” The rest of her words get muffled as Dean pulls her back in a tight hug. His own voice sounds weird when he answers his daughter.

“I know, sweety. I miss him too. So much. So much.” He hugs her even tighter and for a moment, they just stand there, holding on to each other. When she steps back, he swipes the tears off of her cheeks and takes her shoulders. “Do you want to come back home with me or are you going to be okay? The teachers will understand, it’s not a problem, you know that.” He squeezes her shoulders as he bows down a little to look her in the eyes. Claire takes a deep breath and shakes her head.

“No. I’m staying here. I have a test today, and I don’t want to have to take it another time after school. I’ll be fine.” Her watery smile breaks Dean’s heart in a thousand pieces, but he smiles back and nods.

“Okay. Try to have some fun, okay? Talk to your friends. They’ll listen to you. Especially Kaia.” He winks at her jokingly, trying to lighten the mood again. It works a little, because a faint smile appears on his daughter’s face and her eyes seem little less dark with grief. “I love you, sweety. Don’t forget that.” Dean pulls her back in a quick hug and then Claire is off too, with her bag over her shoulder. At the door, she turns around, and he waves at her. She waves back and he’s glad to see that the smile is still on her face. It’s not a big one, but it’s bigger than yesterday’s. And that’s a start.

As soon as Claire can’t see him anymore, his face drops. He sinks back against his black Impala and buries his face in his hands. His throat burns with tears wanting to be spilled, but he’s not going to break down in the middle of the parking lot of his children’s school. That’s what his house is for.

After a deep breath, he lowers his hands and scans the place. The other parents are starting to leave, and he’s not going to mingle his Baby in the middle of all their hurrying to be the first one to leave. He gets in the car and leans his forehead on the steering wheel. The only thing keeping him from breaking into tears is the ring on his finger, which he turns around again and again, the thin silver band familiar against his skin. When everything calms down a little, he sits up straight and heads home.

The second he steps through the door, he sinks down on the floor and the tears stream down his face. With his back against the door, he sits there on the floor for almost thirty minutes, before he succeeds at pulling himself back together a little and takes of his jacket and shoes. He gets halfway through loading the dishwasher further before he needs to sit down again. With a cup of coffee he managed to make between his hands, he sits down on the fourth chair at the table.

Cas’ chair. Cas’ chair, the one that is forever going to be empty now, because Cas is gone forever. Forever lost, never to be seen again. Because of some drunk asshole that couldn’t bring up the sanity to stay away from the steering wheel after drinking practically a whole bar empty. His Cas is gone, because some douchebag couldn’t behave himself and- With a scream, Dean throws his mug against the wall. The coffee drips down the wall, but he doesn’t get up to clean it. Instead, he sinks down in his chair and leans his head on his arms. With his face buried, his tears come streaming down again, and the shocks going through his body almost hurt him from how intense they are. Rage fills him again and he gets up, throwing the chair on the ground behind him. A loud scream escapes him again and he tears at his hair. How can he go on like this? This is not good.

In front of his kids, he can keep it together. It’s been three months, and they’re slowly supposed to get back to their lives. Jack seems to be able to do that the easiest, but he’s also the youngest; with his five years, he doesn’t seem to fully get the situation yet. Claire has a harder time; he’s found her in his bed several times, crying as she presses against his side. Every single time he feels her next to him, his heart breaks apart and he wishes Cas was still with them. With him. Everything had been so much easier. Cas had always been better with their kids, and now, all of a sudden, he has to take care of both of them. And he can’t.

He can’t. He can’t do it. He gets angry all the time, and it takes all his strength not to show that to his children. He loves them endlessly and he would never, _never_ hurt them, but he doesn’t want them to see him like this. This is not something his children should see. He’s supposed to be the strong parent figure, the one who guides them, who supports them, who teaches them, the one who- He can’t do it.

With his face first, he falls down on his bed. The bed he used to share with the love of his love. The bed he shared with Cas, Cas who had been taken away from way too soon. His next scream is muffled by the pillow he buried his face in.

“ _Cas!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can follow me [here on Tumblr!](https://sam4587.tumblr.com)


End file.
